Duck Dynasty Disaster For A&E? We Can Only Hope

Such A Strong Family Show On Such A Weak Network

Such A Strong Family Show On Such A Weak Network

Well America, here we go again.

We’re once again blessed to have our thought control police looking out for us and sparing us all the horror of having the religious faith of others disclosed to us…or were they “FORCED” upon us? It’s so hard to tell the difference these days if we listen to our self-appointed keepers.

I know this issue has been written and reported on ad nauseum and there’s likely little I could add to the debate that has not already been said. Quite honestly, my feelings on this issue can be no better illustrated than in the email I felt compelled to send to A&E therefore, I have pasted it below.

I would only add that the our pouring of support the Robertson family is receiving over a clearly bad decision by A&E is encouraging and I hope that if they’ve not already done so, A&E will soon see the error in their idiocy. Whether or not it ever leads to the network attempting to right the wrong they’ve created remains to be seen. But having watched similar situations play out in the past, I’m not holding out a lot of hope in that regard.

I do however hope that the Robertsons recognize the incalculable value in the quality, family oriented product they’ve provided we the viewers and I if necessary consider alternatives to supplying the OVERWHELMING demand.

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Dear A&E Yuppies,

I’d like to thank you for bringing me BACK to my senses and reminding me why it’s been so long since I’ve bothered with television.

Your feigned outrage over Mr. Phil Robertson’s honest answers to a clearly loaded line of questioning so beautifully demonstrates what I and clearly MILLIONS of Americans see as a product of an absolute detriment to our society. That being political correctness aka: common sense bankruptcy.

The very fact that you allowed each episode of Duck Dynasty to close with a family prayer, to me seems quite out of character from what we’ve all come to expect from our collective media for whom the destruction of traditional American values often seems to trump entertainment not to mention in the case of the “news” media, education. Yet, while your decision to allow such a “flagrant attempt to ram the faith of others down your viewers throats” appears on the surface to be a courageous decision in this day and age, the facade quickly fades at the first sign of opposition which where I come from, equates to no courage at all.

As far as the show itself, my children of all people have made me a fan. They have loved the show for some time now and at some point in their fanaticism convinced me to sit down and watch with them. We’ve been watching the show as a family ever since. As such, you can imagine the disappointment I was forced to deal with yesterday afternoon when they came home from school and I had to explain to them that we WOULD NOT be viewing last night’s DD marathon that we had all been looking forward to for days.

However, even in this I’m inclined to thank you for the opportunity your decision provided me to explain to my children EXACTLY what your network and a minute minority like you are attempting to do and how CRITICAL it is that we recognize these attempts at thought control for what they are and stand up against such disturbing reminders of 1930s Eastern Europe.

A little over the top? I don’t think so. You hired the Robertson family knowing full well that they value their faith and as I mentioned, have even broken what seems to have become a television taboo in that in each episode you air a family prayer. I’m sure your decision to do so has resulted in a MOUNTAIN of angry complaints just as I’m sure there have been attorneys on retainer for some time now just waiting for an opportunity such as this on which the TRUE HATERS felt they could pounce.

I’d like you to know that due to my family’s love for the show I did DVR last night’s DD marathon and we will view every episode you aired last night later this weekend making sure to skip each ad from each of your sponsors, including those who have also expressed opposition to your decision to place Phil on hiatus. Additionally, we will never subject ourselves to any influence your sponsors would like to exercise on us as until you come to your senses and admit that Phil’s personal beliefs were not the “shocker” you’d like a few to believe they are to you, we will never again watch the show during its air time slot nor will we watch the ads running during the show.

We will stand by our rejection of your sponsors unless and until you reconsider your thoughtless knee jerk reaction to an inordinately vocal minority who claim to be concerned with tolerance while demonstrating such intolerance as to find the personal religious beliefs of others “offensive”. And I will relish each opportunity your decision provides me to remind my children of our new house rule and explain the dangers of social engineering, thought control and vehement hate disguised as victimization that you clearly either support or are too weak to stand up to.

I Sincerely Thank You,

An American Father

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If you’re interested in contacting A&E and expressing your opposition or support for their decision you can do so at: aefeedback@aenetworks.com

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Zach’s Killer Catfish or The Idiot Fisherman

Great White Shark

I was reading a news story about a kid taking a catfish barb to the neck and it reminded me of the following experience. I know it has nothing to do with politics but while typing it up for the comments section I couldn’t stop laughing so I figured I’d share it here.

The shocking account you are about to read is sadly totally true.

My oldest son Zach was about 7 or 8 years old and he and I went out cat fishing one afternoon.

Almost immediately after his first cast Zach’s pole starts going crazy and he pulls in the biggest fish he’d ever caught up to that point. Pretty small for a cat, maybe 14 or 15 inches but his biggest and he did it all by himself with me coaching him all the way. The kid couldn’t have been more proud and I had to be beaming myself.

He’s crazy excited, I’m crazy excited, we’re both just beside ourselves, high fiving and cheering. It was awesome…until I grabbed the fish and proceeded to attempt to remove the hook from its mouth.

Somehow while I’m holding it, this thing finds a way to stick its dorsal fin straight up and I take a spike in the palm of my hand. It hurt like hell but I sucked it up and continued to try and remove the hook, a little gun shy now to hold his dorsal fin down with my palm.

The next thing you know this fish does a little twist and slips out of my hand but not before I take another hit from one of his side barbs in the back of my hand right at my first thumb knuckle. That one REALLY hurt and now I’m bleeding like a stuck pig from both wounds. In addition, the fish is now on the ground and squirming and flopping all around and getting dangerously close to the water’s edge.

At this point I’m borderline afraid to touch this thing again and my left hand is throbbing in pain and bleeding profusely. So I grab the fish by his tail just before he makes his way to the water and toss him up by a large rock.

Now I’m pissed and Zach is kind of freaking out from all the blood I’m oozing everywhere. Thinking I’ve got this thing right where I want him I walk over to the fish, put my heels together and spread my toes apart making a sort of “V” with my feet corralling this thing between my feet and the rock and wondering what the hell I’m going to do next because at this point I am in fact afraid to touch this stupid fish again.

Well, I didn’t have to wonder for long, as while I’m standing there regaining my composure and bleeding to death, this little S.O.B. flops yet again and sticks a barb right through my boot and into the very thin skin on the side of my foot.

I immediately jump back from the pain and utter shock of being attacked yet again, and hit the ground right next to another rock just a bit smaller than a bowling ball.

Now I’m absolutely crazed with rage and reeling in pain but I refuse to let this tiny fish kick my ass. How could I? My son is standing there watching the whole thing and probably wondering at this point who is going to come out on top in this battle between man and beast. Not to mention how he’s going to get home if his fish kills his dad.

At this point I’m not thinking at all. All I’m doing is bleeding, likely screaming some choice words, though due to blocking the moment out I can’t say for sure, and wanting this fish dead as I’ve NEVER wanted anything before.

So I jumped up, grabbed the rock, raised it over my head and smashed that fish’s head…and about half of its body.

The next thing I know I snap out of my pain induced rage and look at my son who is standing there utterly speechless, staring at what’s left of his catch.

I limped over to him, put my arm around him, careful not to get any blood on him and said, “Nice job son. That is one hell of a fish. Biggest one you’ve ever caught. But I think I picked a bad week to quit chewing”. I gave his line a little tug and the hook came right out of what was left of the fish’s head as if mocking me. I dropped the mangled half fish in our basket and we left all of our gear right there on the jetty as we drove to town so I could get a can of chew before returning and catching a few more far less deadly specimens.

When we walked into the house that night, me all bloody and limping and Zach still pretty proud of his mangled half fish, I explained to my wife what had happened and she thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. I on the other hand attempted to block the experience out and it’s taken me years to recover to the point where I’ll speak of it.

Zach is in college now and I’m happy to say he wasn’t too terribly scarred by this experience. As a matter of fact, he’s by far the best fisherman I personally know having surpassed any skill I might have had LONG ago.

Ishmale, The Old Man and the Sea, these guys have got nothing on me. For I have battled the meanest, most vicious man eating fish stick to have ever lived and somehow I survived to tell the tale. And Zach and I still laugh ourselves silly whenever we talk about his killer catfish.